Once upon a time, a boy met a girl.
They fell in love.
They got married and lived happily ever after.
If only it was that simple. Now, it is possible to live happily ever after in the 21st century but it is not easy.
After six years of marriage, I will be the first to tell you that it hasn’t always been blissful. My husband I have gone through things that could have torn us apart but instead we grew stronger.
After these years together I have discovered that there are three keys to a healthy marriage.
1. Marry a Good Partner and be a Good Partner
The root of all healthy relationships is honesty. You must always be honest with your spouse and the commitment you made to each other. Abuse, lying and cheating is inexcusable. You can’t have a healthy relationship with an abuser, a liar or a cheater.
I married my best friend. The moment I met him, I knew I was going to marry him. It was like my soul went, “Ahhh, there you are! I’ve been looking for you.”
My husband and I are faithful and honest with each other. However, being a good partner is deeper than being faithful and honest. It is waking up everyday and thinking to yourself, “How can I make my husband’s/wife’s day easier?”
It can be as simple as scraping the ice off their windshield or starting the coffee pot in the morning. It doesn’t have to be flowers or extravagant gifts.
Marriage is not 50/50, it is 100/100. It is giving your spouse 100% of you without expecting anything in return.
When I am having a bad day, my husband happily helps with dinner and taking care of the kids because he wants to make my life easier. Same when he has a rough day. I will fix dinner, let him de-stress while I care for the kids. It is a balance that creates a beautiful, healthy marriage.
Don’t focus on what your husband or wife does for you, but focus on what you can do for them.
My husband and I don’t keep secrets from each other. He knows my past, my dreams, everything. How? Because we talk. A lot.
We visit constantly about the little things and the big stuff. We talk about our opinions and we argue.
In the early years of our marriage, we would fight rough. We would call names and say really mean things. We had to learn that we were not fighting with each other but for each other.
When we realized that it wasn’t him versus me but rather the situation versus us, we became kinder towards each other and were able to not let things get so heated when we would disagree.
Learning to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner is crucial to your relationship. If you can’t share freely with your spouse, then there are deeper issues that need to be addressed.
Communication isn’t only crucial, it is vital for a healthy marriage.
3. Never stop falling in love with each other.
Date and date often. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you don’t have to romance each other. Whether it is going out to dinner or cuddling up on the couch and binge watching Netflix, spending time together as husband and wife will keep the love alive.
Between work, the bills and raising kids, you can lose sight of what made you want to be together in the first place. Taking time to remember you are lovers first will make your marriage stronger.
Years from now the work will be done, the bills will be paid and the kids will be grown and all that will be left is each other.
Remember to make each other a priority and never stop making each other feel special.
Is my marriage perfect?
Marriage is hard but if you and your spouse focus on building a strong, healthy relationship, you will find your happily ever after.