“People pleaser “ was what people would describe me as growing up, as if it was a positive thing.
Don’t get me wrong, people pleasers just want to make those around them happy, which is not necessarily a bad thing. However, we forget that we are people and we deserve to be happy too. Putting others WANTS before our NEEDS isn’t okay, but happens too often as a people pleaser.
What happens over time, as we suppress our needs, we end up angry, bitter and resentful because our inner child is also angry, bitter and resentful.
We reverse this pain by healing our inner child and addressing those needs we suppressed to make those around us comfortable. At first, it may feel selfish and that’s okay. When you begin to put your needs first, it does feel selfish because it isn’t your norm.
As time goes on, you’ll develop skills to recognize the difference between wants versus needs. You will begin to trust your gut and listen to your intuition. You will begin to vocalize your needs sooner rather than later.
You will also discover that the anger, the hurt, the pain… it goes away. You stop responding as that hurt inner child and begin to respond thoughtfully.
So if you are a recovering people pleaser, please remember that your happiness matters too.
Happy healing. 🤍